Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I might be insane......

I know it's been FOREVER since I updated the site and this is a weird ass picture to kick things off....but, it amuses me. First things first: I quit smoking thanks to Chantix. One of the assumed/warned side effects of Chantix is vivid dreams. When the doctor told me this, I explained to him that I normally have crazy dreams anyways so, hopefully, Chantix may normalize them (such as 'speed' calms a hyper child...see Ritalin...) For a few nights, I did actually sleep better and have somewhat normal dreams (or at least what I'd consider normal). Months later, I quit taking the Chantix and am still NOT smoking (thank you, Chantix, I did not think it was possible......) but at times, my dreams remain vivid. SUCH AS LAST NIGHT. During the course of my sleep last night, I dreamt (is that a word?) that I was involved in an 'Insult contest' with Oates (of Hall and Oates fame). There were rules to this contest as well, as one had to present the other with a phony 'certificate' and follow it up with an insult to compliment the 'certificate'. I don't recall the initial joust but I remember nailing him with this one: as I handed him a folded piece of paper, I said "Here's a gift from the 'Puss'n'Wuss'...it's for a facial and a moustache trim'....." He gave me this super smug 'fuck you' smile and replied "Oh yeah..? That's because you smoke sooo much pot!" John Oates is not known for his zingers, obviously. And, for the record, I have NOT SMOKED WEED in years. So fuck you, Oates. I woke up just at this time....trying my damnedest not to laugh out loud...hell.. it was around 3 am. I can not recall the last time a dream woke me up laughing.....I've woke up freaked out and all but not laughing. And damn, like he didn't smoke pot, too....he's probably at the 'Puss'n'Wuss' right now getting his 'stache trimmed....your welcome, Oates!